My Dad told Me

My Dad Told Me

(A coming of age song—both for an individual and a country—during the days of the “Generation Gap.” –SG)

My Dad told me mother’s place was in the kitchen
Apparently his place was on the couch
He told me I should learn to be more respectful
He told me not to smirk, and not to slouch

My Dad told me a big boy hides his feelings
My Dad told me a good boy cleans his plate
Maybe that’s why it’s so hard for me to cry
Maybe that’s why I’m overweight

My Dad told me Hollywood was evil
He told me we’d be better dead than red
He said always pay in cash, he said all TV shows were trash
Except for Lawrence Welk -- and Mister Ed

My Dad told me the good Lord loves us all
And he’ll love me if I mind my P’s and Q’s
But that God hates all the gays, all the Catholics and all the Jews
all the hippies, commies, feminists--and people with opposing views...

My mother’s in the kitchen baking cobbler
Dad’s on his couch sleeping like a log
And me, I’m on this chair with my hollow, vacant stare
Feeding peanut butter to the dog

My dad told me Nixon was misunderstood
You know that he was friends with Billy Graham
He had Kissinger on his knees, he ate ketchup with cottage cheese
And he brought our boys back home from Vietnam

My dad told me how when he finished high school
He went off to fight the war
And how things were simpler then, how right was right and men were men,
And since then there’s been nothing worth fighting for

My mother hides her pain pills in the kitchen
By the fridge in the silverware drawer
And she buries all her dreams in butter, fat, and creams
While I play Chinese Checkers on the floor

My Dad warned me not to get “The Big Head”
He said I was more trouble than I’m worth
He told me that someday, I’d start seeing things his way
But I’m just hoping I was switched at birth

My Dad told me I should act my age
But I think that he forgets I’m only ten
And what I need to hear from him are words he just can’t say
--Words he doesn’t think are fit for men

My dad told me I should get a haircut...

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